Evil schoolgirl<3

I dont know what to say.. Im just so tired of everything.. nothing is going my way right now... I only want one thing, and ofc that thing is impossible.

What is love *baby dont hurt me~~~ (sorry I had to)*

So Ive been thinking a bit about that important litle word: Love. As manny of you may know Im completely heartbroken right now, And you might know how that makes you think waaaay too much. Who is the ideal partner? well for me it would be someone I care about verry much and who I can allways trust. He has to have humour and it has to be easy to be myself around him. I think most people would agree with me on these points. But then, How about your best friend? Doesnt that person messure up to these points aswell? then what separets the two? this litle feeling called love? And what is love anyway? is it really lust Im talking about? of wanting that person more than anything else? its hard to explain my thoughts.. but anyway.. If I have a best friend, and I dont have those "romantic" feelings about him is he still not the best choice of partner? someone I can always be myself around, someone who knows everything about me. Have I completely lost my mind here? XO I dont know anything anymore...


I want to sleep forever...

Today Rotary will have an informationcampaign down by the library:) Maybee Ill se you there? Some of the exchangestudents will be there to share information and stuff:P Tanoshimi^^
Im really hungry.. but when I try to eat Im not intrested anymore.. I think Im seriously depressed:S I cant sleep either.. and school isnt going that well either.. I want to go to Uppsala..

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The hunt for a part time job continues without success:/ I really really need that money! Now that I cant have Johan anymore the only thing I can think of that Im looking forward to is going to Japan! And without money thats impossible. As i mentioned in my blog before I worked for 2 nights as a waitress, but that apparently didnt work out since I havent heard back from them yet (its been months!!!) Then I tried working as a phonesalesman.. Haha I sucked so hard! I quit after 2 nights of total humiliation XO

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Today I spoke to Johan on MSN.. I broke down completely.. it was just so sad earing him say things like It would be impossible to even try to make him fall for me again.. It was totally devastating..

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Also I updated the design a bit and aded some adverts.. Im sorry you guys for beeing such a sellout.. but if youd like to click them please do, maybe I can fund my japan trip a bit that way(a) Onegai<3~~~

Last week, from the 17th untill the 25th, My friends from Japan came here to visit. It was so nice to finally speak some japanese again :) For Mizuki, a friend from school, it was her first time abroad! haha I think Sweden is a strange choice but anyway:P She and my homeroom teacher Obatasensei were ecstatic:D I showed them around in my town, and then they visited Kalmar, Malmo and Stockholm. When they left I was soo exhausted XO Japanese people are a lot of fun:) I hope they will be back here soon:) yay!

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So whats up today? Well.. I havent slept much at all since Friday and Im extreemely tired.. I really want to call Johan.. Is that a bad Idea? I dont know.. Well, I guess ill come back with a update later today!

Bai bai

Sakura no tsubomi wa haru e to tsuzukimasu

Im lying in my bed listening to 3gatsu 9ka and thinking about life. Right now eerything sucks. My Boyfriend since 2 years broke up with me this friday. Its all verry painfull. The worst thing is that I didnt se it comming. at all. everything was going great. and I love him over everything. He is a really nice guy though, and I will do my best to keep him as my best friend.. although I want him to come back to me.. but who knows..

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Jag ligger i min säng och lyssnar på 3gatsu 9ka och tänker på livet. Johan och jag är inte tillsammans längre och det gör så fruktansvärt ont. Det är skitjobbigt.. Han är liksom medräknad i alla mina framtidsplaner.. så vad jag än tänker på är han där..